Notes From Dawn

One of my very favorite portions of Scripture is Proverbs 31:10-31.  I am always looking for new books about these verses to read and trying to gleem everything I can about being a godly woman.  So I thought I would share with you some of the things I have learned (am learning).
 
Before we start in verse 10, we have to go back to verse 1.  This is important because when we know that Proverbs 31 was written by King Lemuel's mother as she was teaching him how to be a godly king and how to find a godly wife, we know that the things in this passage are possible.  I have heard someone say that the Proverbs 31 woman is a composite of a bunch of different women, so it is unrealistic.  That doesn't make sense when you read verse 1.  I am not teaching my sons to find different traits in different women as they look for a spouse and I am sure Lemuel's mother wasn't either.  The other important thing about verse 1 is reminding us mothers of boys to diligently teach our sons what to look for in a wife.
 
As we get started, Kay Arthur says that the Proverbs 31 woman can be described with 8 "d" words:
Devotion (vs 11-12), Duty (vs. 13-14), Discipline (vs. 15), Discernment (vs. 16), Direction (vs. 17-20), Decorum (vs. 21-25), Discretion (vs. 26-29), and Dedication (vs. 30-31).
 
Let's start with verse 10-- First of all, according to Elizabeth George, in her book Beautiful in God's Eyes, the Hebrew word for "virtuous{ is used over 200 times in the Bible to describe an army.  This Old Testament word refers to a "force" and is used to mean "able, capable, mighty, strong, valiant, powerful, efficient, wealthy, and worthy."  The word is also used in reference to a man of war, men of war, and men prepared for war.  Change this definition to the feminine case and you begin to grasp the power at the core of this woman!
 
According to the Encyclopedia Americana, "the rich red ruby is truly a unique gem, and because of their rarity, large rubies even surpass diamonds of equal weight in value."  Elizabeth George tells about a trip to a museum in Israel where she was trying to find jewels to get an idea of what this woman was being compared to.  She found none.  Everything she saw was "stark, bleak, and basic' just like life in that area.  Every day life focused on just surviving in that dry, rugged land.  Then she said this:  "Then it hit me!  I suddenly realized that God's beautiful woman WAS the sparkling jewel in her husband's life!  She brought the love, the color, the joy, the life, and the energy to the home." That gives us a great picture of what God thinks of a godly woman.  This is the kind of woman we all hope to be.  And this is the kind of woman we want our daughters to be and our sons to find for wives. 
 
Psalms 144:12 is a great place to go from here.  The KJV talks about "cornerstones."  We are to be like cornerstones. Okay, what does that mean?  Elizabeth George (can you tell she is one of my favorite authors?) also visited the remains of Herod's Temple.  The cornerstone of the Temple Mount sustained the weight of 75 foot high stone walls for more than 2000 years!  "When a man marries a woman who is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually stron, he can confidently build his life, his work, and his home trusting in her rock-solid character to be a cornerstone for his efforts.
 
Okay, this quote was a little harder to take:  Author Donna Partow, in her book Becoming the Woman God Wants Me To Be, said this about verse 10, "There is nothing noble about a complaining wife!  Capable women don't complain.  They take action and either change the situation or have enough faith to accept it."
 
A Proverbs 31 wife, is an encouragement to her husband, which brings us to verses 11 and 12.  What makes our husband able to have "full confidence in us?"  We have to have full confidence in God, according to Donna Partow.  "If you want to be an inspiration to everyone you meet, meet with God first."  The more we know about God, the more we will be able to trust Him!
 
"The heart of a husband who can trust a loyal wife is a heart at ease.  Our calling, as God's women, is to live life in such a solid way that our husband never worries or wonders about our character or our management of our home, our finances, or our time." (Elizabeth George). 
 
"She brings him good, not evil."  At every opportunity to give into selfishness, resentment, anger, disapproval, or disagreement, she perseveres against evil and instead chooses to follow after God's plan to do her husband good - not evil.  (Elizabeth George).  (Note for our daughters:  She bring him good and not harm "all the days of her life."  Not just after they get married.  The choices you make now will affect your future husband!)
 
Well, I don't know about you, but in just the first 3 verses of this section, I have so much that I need to work on!  Good thing we serve a merciful God!  Judy has asked about New Year's Resolutions.  Mine is to be a worthy woman, beautiful in God's eyes!  So this year my plan is to spend more time with the Lord, study carefully everything I can about being a godly woman, and work daily to achieve that goal.  I know I will mess up plenty and I know I have a long way to go, but I am going to do my best with Christ giving me the strength (Phil 4:13!).  And also, I know that the best way to keep a New Year's resolution is to have some one hold me accountable!  So, that is your job! 
(We will continue on later.) 
 

Part 2

Proverbs 31:10-31 Part 2

Verse 13-15.  Okay, our Proverbs 31 woman willingly works with her hands.  All the things I read about this were very convicting.  How many times have I picked up after someone while mumbling under my breath?  Or complained about dishes, laundry, etc.?  You get the picture.  This verse also gets rid of any idea of laziness.  I can't be lazy and be willing to work at the same time.  Ugh!
 
So, what about the whole "merchant's ship" thing?  What does that mean?  Donna Partow, author of Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be, said this about these verses:  "She didn't do what was easy and convenient to feed her family.  She did what was healthy."  So she was willing (there's that word again!) to go the extra mile to ensure her family ate healthy and well.  She planned.  Her life couldn't have been a "fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" kind of thing.  She had to be organized and prepared.  We think we are busy.  This woman would have had to cook without a microwave, probably shop daily (no refrigerators), or even butcher regularly.  She couldn't pull something out of the freezer and toss it in the microwave.  And outgrown clothes?  Not only did she have to sew the clothes for her family, she had to make the material first.
 
Here is what Elizabeth George said about these verses:  "Is your heart in tune with God's great heart of love?  Do you cherish those at home whom He has given you to provide for?  Are you giving your utmost as you work to provide for your familY?  Proverbs 31:14-albeit an image of a merchant ship-actually addresses a matter of the heart, a matter of love.  You see, only love-God's gracious love-can motivate you to lay aside selfishness and exert the physical energy needed to set sail on behalf of others.  And only the love of God, filling you to overflowing, can supply you with the necessary emotional endurance to forego personal ease and sustain the relentless activity of a lifetime of enterprise for the good of others."
 
Another New Year's resolution for me--I want to have a willing heart, a willing attitude, when serving my family.  I want to serve them with joy--inside and out.  And in serving them, I want to go the extra mile and we are going to start eating healthier.  I have already checked out some cookbooks that get away from any processed foods.  Ask me how I am doing in a month how I am doing and keep me accountable!!

 

2008

There is a sign in the Lighthouse that says:  "Until you are convinced that prayer is the best use of your time, you will not find time for prayer."  Prayer has never been an easy thing for me.  My mind wanders halfway through the second sentence, which is usually "Lord, help me to stay focused....Oh, I need to put cinnamon on my grocery list."  You get the picture.
 
But here is the thing, prayer isn't an option!  So I keep on striving for a meaningful prayer life.
 
Someone once told me when my children were small that being a mom is spending time with God--that God understands that I am busy being a mom and can't fit in a quiet time.  I totally disagree with that!  I believe that is just an excuse.  We find time to shower, to eat, to do our make-up and hair, etc.  It is simply a matter of priority.
 
Spending time with God is like putting gas in your car.  The car won't get far without it unless you are going down hill.  And as a wife, mother, friend, etc., I won't get very far without my fill of God unless I am heading down hill!  Take time to fill up your tank!
 
So, that being said, I do have a few verses that I use in my prayer time and I thought you might like them also.  (Paraphrases by Dawn from the NLT)
1 Chronicles 29:18-19   "O Lord God, make me always want to obey You.  See to it that my love for You never changes except to grow deeper.  Give my children the wholehearted desire to obey all Your commands, laws, and decrees, and to do everything necessary to build their hearts as a temple for You.  Help me to make the necessary preparations for this."
Colossians 1:9-12  "Help me, Lord, to never neglect praying for my children.  Give them a complete knowledge of Your will and give them spiritual wisdom and understanding.  Help them to live the way that will always honor and please You and cause them to produce every kind of good fruit.  Lord, help them to grow to know You better and better and be strengthened with Your glorious power so they will have the endurance and patience they need and be filled with your joy, always thanking You.  Enable them to put their faith in You so they can share in the inheritance that belongs to Your people.  And Lord, help me to be an example to them in each of these things."
  
Are there verses that you have turned into prayers for your family that you would share with us?
 

01/02/2009
 

I had something different picked out to write about in this section, but after last month's question about encouraging our husbands, I decided that this was more timely.  This is from Elizabeth George's book
Beautiful in God's Eyes.

Proverbs 31:12 says, "She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.
 
First of all "she does him good."  God's beautiful wife is intent on lavishing every possible good upon her husband.  Her waking prayer each day is to do her dear husband good.  Far from looking for any payoff,
notice, or praise, she finds following through on God's assignment to do her husband good reward enough!  She takes seriously her God-given mission to be a spring of goodness in her marriage.
 
Second-the absence of evil.  At every opportunity to give in to selfishness, resentment, anger, disapproval,
or disagreement, she perseveres against evil and instead chooses to follow after God's plan to do her
husband good-not evil.  Even if he doesn't seem so dear to you right now, you can still be a refreshing
spring of goodness to him.  After all, your husband is a part of God's sovereign plan to grow you into a
more beautiful woman.  (See Colossians 3:23)
 
Okay, so how can I do this?  Here are Elizabeth's "How-To's of Beauty."
     1.  Beware of the enemies of goodness!
           --A tendency to compare leads us down a dark path!!!!
           --Nurturing a growing root of bitterness is a sure way to foster evil rather than good!!  Gratitude
that has us looking to God-not our husband or our circumstances-is the weapon with which you and I can
do battle against any budding bitterness.
           --Watch out for a sagging spiritual condition!!
 
     2.  Follow God's plan! 
           --Plan to do good!! Read Proverbs 14:22.  We can plan to do evil or plan to do good!
           --Practice your plan!!
 
 
ABCs of Goodness
 
A  Always contribute spiritually.  Don't discourage your husband about God's plans as Job's wife
did (Job 2:9).
B  Bless his name.  Allow "the law of kindness" (Proverbs 31:26) to rule your words whenever you talk
about your   husband.
C  Control your spending.  Be sensitive to the family's financial situation.
D  Discipline, raise, and train your children.  Proverbs 31 is the faithful teaching of a godly mother to her husband's children.
E  Encourage his dreams.  Fan the flames of his personal aspirations.
G  Give your husband the joy of a happy home.  Don't be the contentious, brawling wife of
Proverbs 19:13.
H  Habitually exhibit a steady, predictable, even-keeled nature.  Be sure there's no Dr. Jekyll and Mrs.
Hyde in your home.
I  Indulge in praising him.  A good word makes a heavy heart glad (Proverbs 12:25).  Let your mouth be
a spring of goodness.
J  Join him in sexual pleasure.  Rejoice his heart and satisfy him (Proverbs 5:18:19).
K  Keep up your spiritual growth.  Seeking the Lord regularly is the best way to contribute goodness to
your husband.
L  Look not at what others have.  Be content--and delighted--with your husband's provisions for you.
M  Make prayer a part of your ministry to your husband.  Nothing creates a deeper spring of goodness in
a heart.
 
 
(This is as far as Elizabeth goes in her alphabet.  Then she asks the reader to try to come up with
the rest.  Have any ideas for other letters??  E-mail them to me so we can finish this alphabet!)
 
I want to end this note to you with a prayer that was written by a 19th century Scottish missionary.
 
"That I may come near to my husband, draw me nearer to Thee than to him.
That I may know my husband, make me to know Thee more than him.
That I may love my husband with the perfect love of a perfectly whole heart, cause me to love Thee more
than him and most of all.
That nothing may be between me and my husband, be Thou between us, every moment.
That we may be constantly together, draw us into separate loneliness with Thyself.
And when we meet breast to breast, O God, let it be upon Thine own." 
Dawn Berry

10/20/08
Have you ever wondered if "this" was all life was meant to be--the cleaning, cooking, teaching, laundry, etc?  Ever had those moments of dissatisfaction with your life and felt like you were meant for more?
 
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, " "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD.
  "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."
 
Marilynn Blackaby (the wife of one of my favorite author's--Henry Blackaby) struggled with these same thoughts when her 5 children were young.  Then one day, she felt God say to her, "This is the work I have for you right now."  She said that knowing that she was obeying the Lord and pleasing Him changed her perspective and lightened her heart.  She could have done many other types of ministry--women's ministry, Bible study groups, prayer ministry--but in the end, nothing was more important than the children God brought into her life!
 
Where's your heart?  Homemaking is a calling from God.  It is a privilege!!  Think about it this way:  A homemaker is exactly what the word implies--home maker.  Being a homemaker isn't just cleaning the house; it's making a home for your family. 
 
Although being a homemaker may sometimes seem like a thankless responsibility, ultimately, we're seeking to please the Lord!  If we are always looking to glorify the Lord, He will honor all that we do in His time!
 
What are some things you do to make your house a home? -- Dawn Berry